I just signed up for ok cupid again and I’m about to post to fandom dating…
Do You Love Someone With Depression?
If you have a partner or are close to someone who struggles with depression, you may not always know how to show them you love them. One day they may seem fine, and the next they are sad, distant and may push you away. It is important that you know that as a person who is close to them and trusted by them, you can help your friend or partner have shorter, less severe bouts of depression. Mental illness is as real as physical illness (it is physical actually, read more about that here) and your partner needs you as much as they would need to be cared for if they had the flu.
Your relationship may seem one-sided during these times, but by helping your partner through a very difficult and painful affliction, you are strengthening your relationship and their mental health in the long term.
1. Help them keep clutter at bay.
When a person begins spiraling into depression, they may feel like they are slowing down while the world around them speeds up. The mail may end up in stacks, dishes can pile up in the sink, laundry may go undone as the depressed person begins to feel more and more overwhelmed by their daily routine and unable to keep up. By giving your partner some extra help sorting mail, washing dishes or using paper plates and keeping chaos in check in general, you’ll be giving them (and yourself) the gift of a calm environment. (I’m a fan of the minimalist movement because of this, you can read more about that here.)
2. Fix them a healthy meal.
Your partner may do one of two things when they are in a depressed state. They may eat very little, or they may overeat. In either case, they may find that driving through a fast food restaurant or ordering a pizza online is just easier than fixing a meal. Eating like this, or neglecting to eat will only degrade your partner’s health, causing them to go deeper into their depression. Help your loved one keep their body healthy, and their mind will follow. This is a great article that talks about the “Brain Diet” which can help the symptoms of depression, and this article talks about how our modern diet could contribute to the recent rise in depression. Here is a recipe for a trail mix that is quick to make and has mood-boosting properties.
3.Get them outside.
The benefits of getting outside for a depressed person are huge. And it is possibly the last thing on earth your partner will want to do. Take them to be somewhere in nature. Pack a picnic and lie in the sun, take a leisurely hike or plant a garden. Being barefoot in the dirt, or “earthing” helps ground the body and reverse the effects of living in a world of emf’s, and digging in soil can actually act as an antidepressant, as a strain of bacterium in soil, Mycobacterium vaccae, triggers the release of seratonin, which in turn elevates mood and decreases anxiety. Sunshine increases Vitamin D production which can help alleviate depression. My friend Elizabeth wrote an excellent post about Vitamin D and its link to depression here. For more information about other sources of Vitamin D, this is a great post as well as this.
4. Ask them to help you understand what they’re feeling.
If your partner is able to articulate what they are going through, it will help them and you better understand what you are dealing with, and may give insight into a plan of action for helping your partner. Also, feeling alone is common for a depressed person and anything that combats that feeling will help alleviate the severity and length of the depression.
5. Encourage them to focus on self-care.
Depressed people often stop taking care of themselves. Showering, getting haircuts, going to the doctor or dentist, it’s all just too hard, and they don’t deserve to be well taken care of anyway in their minds. This can snowball quickly into greater feelings of worthlessness since “Now I’m such a mess, no one could ever love me”. Help your loved one by being proactive. Tell them “I’m going to do the dishes, why don’t you go enjoy a bubble bath?” can give them the permission they won’t give themselves to do something normal, healthy and self-loving.
6. Hug them.
Studies show that a sincere hug that lasts longer than 20 seconds can release feel-good chemicals in the brain and elevate the mood of the giver and receiver. Depressed people often don’t want to be touched, but a sincere hug with no expectation of anything further can give your partner a lift.
7. Laugh with them.
Telling a silly joke, watching a comedy or seeing a stand up comedian will encourage your partner to laugh in spite of themselves. Laughing releases endorphins and studies show can actually counteract symptoms of depression and anxiety.
8. Reassure them that you can handle their feelings.
Your partner may be feeling worthless, angry and even guilty while they are depressed. They may be afraid that they will end up alone because no one will put up with their episodes forever. Reassure them that you are in the relationship for the long haul and they won’t scare you away because they have an illness.
9. Challenge their destructive thoughts.
A depressed person’s mind can be a never-ending loop of painful, destructive thoughts. “I’m unlovable, I’m a failure, I’m ugly, I’m stupid”. Challenge these untruths with the truth. “You’re not unlovable, I love you. You aren’t a failure, here are all the things you’ve accomplished.”
10.Remind them why you love them.
Look at pictures of happy times you’ve had together. Tell them your favorite things about them. Reminisce about your relationship and all the positive things that have happened, and remind your partner that you love them and they will get through this.
(via The Darling Bakers)
More people need to know this.This is so incredibly important. I’ve seen people with depression ostracized so many times, and I cannot stress how much it means to each and every person I’ve tried to reach out to after whatever “falling-outs” they’ve had due to depression. Remember to always be compassionate and kind to all friends like this, because you never know what they’re going through.
crying because i have a close friend who struggles with this. i was always worried i wasnt handeling the situation. i literally do all of this :))) im happy im not fucking things up more
this is really good. my boyfriend does all these things for me, hes A++
Reblogging to show mine.
I will continue to reblog this until people start paying attention to it.
Please reblog if you know anyone who might take party drugs.
I’m not an emt yet, but everytime I see someone do drugs, I just hope they’re smart enough to remember these points.
I really love this, because as someone with anxiety when I did take party drugs way back when I was always scared of going to the hospital because I didnt want to be arrested…..even when I bad tripped and cried in the bathroom for 10 hours because I thought Jeff was trying to murder me. I dont do party drugs anymore, but it still is comforting to me….seriously.
Most EMTS and medics I’ve met are some of the most non-judgmental folks ever. Look, we love helping people and saving lives. That’s what we went to school for. Help us help you, and everyone will fare better for it.
i know a few emts and theyre all great people
Stargate Theme with Lyrics
Stargate it’s a great big whirl
With a great big swirl
And you step inside to another world.
We’re talking Stargate,
It’s a crazy trip.
You can go quite far and you don’t need a car
Or even a ship.
There’s Colonel O’Neill,
Look out for that Gou gou gou gougougougou gould.
Ladies and gentlemen, these
dorksmen brought us Stargate SG-1.
it’s a serious fucking show you guys.
Oh god no really what am I watching holy crap and I haven’t even reached agents of shield yet wtf is my life
If you’re battling a mental illness and didn’t want to wake up this morning but did anyways, you’re a motherfucking badass. Because living with a mental illness is hard and I’m damn proud of you for still being here and fighting. You’re metal as hell and tough as nails. So keep on fighting, you kickass Viking warrior. You can win this.
Get the FUCK off my tumblr!
I can almost feel the love radiating from you two over the barrier of my phone.
I’m going to kill him
Love you sis!
Enjoy while you can. I’m blocking you when I get home.
As long as my follow still counts I’m Happy!
HELLO YES 911 I AM DYING BECAUSE THIS IS PERF
Ooop. It’s back. I’ll be on Elengel on Landroval if anyone needs me. Or Gilanora. Both. Both is good.
Lotro is down, so I’m gonna run around like a chicken with my head cut off.
3 very ‘manly’ men behind me are discussing their love of Tom Hiddleston. I love it. Is this real life?!?!?!?
Someone wanna play lotro with me? I’m mega bored and all my kin is offline. I’ll do any server, though my main is on Landroval, named Gilanora.
seeing as everyone has raised so much awareness for breast cancer on facebook recently, I would really love it if my tumblr friends/followers would reblog this post to raise some awareness for the condition i suffer from - cystic fibrosis. there’s no cure for my condition BUT we are so close to getting one. All we need is more awareness! cystic fibrosis is a GENETIC condition that mainly affects the lungs and digestive system. It’s a fault in my dna, and it causes thick sticky mucus to gather around my lungs and other organs.this then makes me more vulnerable to dangerous bacteria growing in my lungs and more lung infections. with every lung infection i get, the tissue in my lungs get damaged more every time. around 2.5 MILLION of you in the uk carry the “cf” gene, and if two people with the cf gene have a baby, the baby has a 1 in 4 chance of having cystic fibrosis. thats what happened to my mum and dad and me, and to around 10,000 people in the uk. there are only 80,000 people in the world with my condition and its a very serious life-threatening disease. the life expectancy is just 41 years old but with ongoing research it goes up every year. nobody knows what it is unless they know someone with it (like me) so PLEASE PLEASE would anyone just reblog this to raise awareness. children and young adults still die because of this disease because some people have it A LOT worse than others. I may look healthy on the outside but on the inside its a different story. my condition will inevitably get worse over time but there are treatments and medication to delay the damage. If you want to donate any money to the cystic fibrosis trust you can just text CFTG14 and the amount you want to donate (for example £1) and text it to 70070. There is a high possibility that a cure will happen in my lifetime, we just NEED the awareness. unlike cancer, we don’t have millions of pounds being donated every day and it would be AMAZING if it happened to us. If you don’t want to donate thats fine, just please reblog or even like it to make it appear on everyones dashboard. thank you!